this weather is so fresh. i just want 2 sit &marinate in it!!!

sky love

ssss

i used to dream about snakes all the time when i was little. i felt they were always chasing me in the dark when i was awake and then they chased me around the grocery store and trees and etc in my dreams.

this summer i dreamed that a snake took over part of my skin. my skin was snakeskin. and i had a son who believed that if i ate him, i would be cured of my snakeskin. he wanted me to kill and eat him.

but i was like no, i love you, i dont want to lose you! i dont mind my skin, im actually starting to appreciate it!

distressed, he ran to the butcher. made him sacrifice him and grind him into meat. which was then delivered to me, and i made hamburgers. i was eating one, and my skin changed back to how it was before the snake. and i screamed and cried. i knew.

the faces! they are tellin me so many stories!

everyone looks so familiar!!!!!!!!! i think i am feelin our connections hardcore again

tryna love the rain. it is just so cold.

today i woke up thinkin, theres a hand in my closet. the night before,i dreamed i almost completely burned off my fingers. whats with me n hands?

song draft 1

learnin to use garageband. the beat gets kinda off but whatev ima fix that when i get a chance

My ♥beat be rockin me

I just remembered somethinn. back in the day i made a webpage for my childhood invisible friend ESSA. is that wierd or is that wierd? lol

my heartbeat swallowing my thoughts

a new drawing i am workin on

my fave pose the model made so far

I hear an owl in the alley. aint heard one of those for a long time, kinda trippy.

we have so much in common with water. at death we evaporate our spirit from the body, which eventually disintigrates into the cycle of life again

free image manipulation program

top free image manipulation program on about.com:

GiMP

http://www.gimp.org/

i just downloaded it tonight. it is the free version of photoshop, basically!

now i can edit and mix up my photos on my own computer!!!!!YESSSSSSS



example layer mix

this milk tastes like spraypaint

new works

 
 
 
 

wedding ritual

THIS would be a great marriage ritual: get matching tattoos or something related to tattoos.





i want that.



also we will be wed around a bonfire on a beach in the middle of the night under a buncha stars hopefully

I was lookin for sum recycled notebooks today when i realized i can make my own. duh! i forget i dont have2 be a consumer all the time.

headache. watched the hindi film asota with minjung. we had a fabulous time but all that drama in the film seems2 have infiltrated my head. ow.

 

wow, there is a magazine about wallpaper?

DREAM AWAKE

reading basquiats journals instead of homework.
fabulous.
basqiat: ''a cresent sun''




my windows bang all night.

i accidentally painted my pages together when i tried to use my notebook as a brush

I luuuuuv gettin paint on my hands. its so pretty!

Let your mind open like a flower to the sun, and close and reflect as a flower to the moon

my stomach stopped hurting when i started drumming

downtown with the drummers sprawling in a corner of the pedestrian mall, outside in the night

it started hurting again when i stopped.




i found my notebook!!!!!!!!!!!!!i lost it just in time for my arts of africa midterm (most of my notes were in it, among my recent experiments with words and collage and paint). the exam is already over, but there is much richness in it, korean words i do not know, a lot of poetry, music, image. i was so excited i kissed it tenderly like a catlover might kiss a cat (on its head).

yeah. pretty happy.

it has been a beautiful night. listening to women read poetry in hebrew, persian and english. freestyle drumming on a bongo at random with a group freestylin downtown. i love iowa city more almost every other day. it hurts sometimes to think of ever moving away, altho that seems to be an inevitable choice. i guess i can always come back someday....maybe.......

falling asleep driving
i feel like i'm being flushed away
out of my body
out of the car
into a liquid existence
nowhere

here
my head throbs back up to look straight ahead
in time to dodge a car
was that my intuition, instinct, or just pure luck?

or SomeOne was payin attention

I WANT A CAT! ! ! !

this morning feels like a long time ago

i love you

rechanneling: sorrow into thanksgiving. and i feel immediately better, brighter; full of hope

am i a genius...?

since commonsense things seem to be bypassing my brain of late?

ughh. i hope its genius, otherwise its obnoxious.

just when i was talkin about how art can embrace and conquer life's barriers, that assertion has been tested. but i kept thinking about that belief, and i still affirm it, i am just being reminded that it is easier said than done.

i was supposed to drive to des moines for an instructor to a chinese class. but i went the wrong way on the hiway for about 40 mins before i realized we were almost in IL, the opposite way.

so i wasted money(gas+car rental) of my dept. and both our time. fortunately everyone seemed to be cool about it. cooler than me. i felt so baaaaad.

still do. i am especially dissappointed cuz i was gonna get to see my family after the class since they live closeby. i still ache about that. i realize that is because i had no concept in my mind that theis plan would fal thru so i cherished the hope without having a backup option for a smoother landing in case that hope was lost.

how can i go abroad for 1-2 years without my family? i want to take them with me




at least now i have more time to tackle all this homework stuff i gotta do!
i need to invent a zest for it despite all the ache that makes me just wanna lay around and wish upon the air.
:(

know what i love about art?

u can embrace every experience and barrier as an opportunity to be inspired. anything that gets in your way can be viewed as stimulation to be creative and create a new framework of life

ongoing research on EVERYTHING!

the possibilities are endless when creativity is used. God is creative, love is creative.

check this book: the art of possibility by phillip and roz zander. it is so uplifting and inspiring.


(((life as a medium for creation)))

rant1

do u ever feel like u r makin urself sick and realize u dont even care, cuz right now it feels good? im thinkin that now as i eat too many reeces pieces chocolate but im skippin class tryna write this paper thats kickin my ass and so i dont care it just fuels me...or does it fool me into thinkin this is helping?

split moment before a kiss

breathing
like the ebb and flow of waves
lapping against
the lips of the shore

(inspired from spokenword over-the-phone session with danielle. LOVE!)

MX!!!!!